E N G L I S H    D A Y S

John designed several dinosaurs on his computer. He also designed a beautiful park for them. At first the dinosaurs looked harmless. But soon they got out of control. They destroyed the park and started to fight. Suddenly they looked at John.
John had no choice. He turned the computer off.

(50 words)

Queen Elizabeth II met with 11 US Presidents. Actually, only five of them are still alive. She met Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush Sr., Bill Clinton, George Bush Jr. and Barack Obama. The point is she is immortal.

Ben set out to the North Pole having only a brand new mobile with him. With time the weather started getting worse and worse. To survive, Ben dug a tunnel in the ice, took a photo and sent it to the rescuers. Three days later he was back at home.

Queen Elizabeth II ‘is not sitting on a throne now’

Harry and William made a joke Elizabeth II. After changing her voicemail, people calling the Queen they were hearing the message ‘I´m Liz. I´m not sitting on a throne now. If you wanna to contact Filip press one, to contact Karol press two and Corgi (the Queen´s dog) press three.’

One day Jimmy came to a doctor and said, ‘My stomach hurts very much.’
The doctor asked, ‘What did you eat?’
‘A rotten apple,’ the boy replied.
‘I´ll prescribe you something for the eyes!’ the doctor commented.
‘Why for the eyes?’
‘So that you could see better what you´re eating…’

Two people were riding a motorbike very fast. A girl begged Patrick to slow down. He replied, ‘Put my helmet on and say I LOVE YOU’. Next day in a newspaper: ‘A boy died in an accident. He knew the brakes had failed but he wanted his girlfriend to survive’.

Lucky Education

Rufus tried his luck in the quiz ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’. He got to the final round where his question was ‘How many words are there in a mini-saga?’ Years ago English was his favourite subject so he managed to answer without any problems and become very rich.

The Great Challenge

Everyone told me it was impossible. They did not support me in my challenge. But I had to focus my mind and keep my thoughts calm. It really seemed to be totally impossible.
But I did it.
I did the undone.
I convinced my Grandma that I was not hungry.

Strange meeting

It was Friday evening. A lonely girl was sitting in the club. Johny Deep went inside, sat down beside her and a few seconds later kissed her saying ‘No one will believe you’! Then he went outside. The girl fainted. When she woke up she didn´t know what to say.

I´m the most powerful man in the world. I create something from nothing. I give and I take. I´m the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
But when I turn off my computer… it´s all over. I´m just an ordinary teenage boy…

Sim and Sam

Once upon a time in a small town lived Sim and Sam. Sim was crazy also lazy. He was neat, never asked you how you feel. Sam - more serious always curious. He loved books and never wondered how he looks. Despite them being so unlike NOBODY KNEW WHO WAS WHO!

- Mum, can you give me some money?
- What for?
- I must buy a present.
- A present?
- A special person has her birthday…
- Who?
- I can´t tell you…
- Oh, it´s interesting. Have you got a girlfriend? It´s for her, isn´t it?
- Mum! It´s not so…
- So, whose birthday is it?
- Yours…

Once there lived a man called Justin Case. He always had everything with him, he was always ready. Whenever you needed something, ranging from a big hammer to a small toothbrush, he had it.
No wonder we use the expression ’just in case’ whenever we happen to have something useful.

The Snake approached Eve with an apple.
‘Bite it,’ he tempted her.
‘I want it, too,’ shouted Adam.
Eve grabbed the apple and ate it all. The Snake was horrified.
‘Oh, no! What are we going to do now?!’ Adam´s stomach rumbled. ‘It´s no good. All the Bible for nothing…’

An old angler fished out an old bottle with a genie inside. At once he decided to set the genie free. He started to rub the bottle. He rubbed it, and rubbed it and rubbed it… Finally, the genie said, ‘If I were you, I would unscrew the cap first…!’

Once, after lessons, I was walking along the streets of my hometown, depressed. Suddenly, I saw a strange old lady: her face smiling and her eyes glittering. I stopped. She lowered her grey head and said: ‘A good boy.’ Her smile changed my gloomy mood. Let´s smile more often!

I am in a coffin. Why? I am still alive! There is less and less oxygen in here. I can see white angels. Am I dying? I feel a prick of a syringe. Brightness appeares before my eyes. Am I being carried to the other side?
I wake up screaming…

Mrs Brown was eating her soup when a big fly flew into the kitchen. The fly sat on Mrs Brown´s nose. She tried to kill it but while doing this she spilt the soup. She started cleaning the table only to see… the fly, safe and sound, eating her soup!

A fisherman lived happily in a small house near the beach, fishing only for his daily needs. One evening when he came back home he met a beautiful mermaid.
‘I can make your wish come true,’ said the mermaid.
‘I want to be…’ exclaimed the fisherman, then he woke up.

At the age of 7, I realised what I was going to do for the rest of my life. In fact, it was during the first day of the school year. When I opened the book my breath was taken away by magnificent numbers. It was love at first sight.

Was it my car?

It was a Saturday evening. Margaret was coming back from a great party when suddenly, while she was crossing the junction, she was hit by a car. Luckily, she recognised the registration number. Unluckily, it was her registration number. She knew that something was missing in front of the pub…

This would be a silent night, if it wasn´t for the birds´ twitter. Colonel Broslvoski was sitting in the comfortable armchair on the balcony of his summer mansion. He observed the flickering points of the stars far away. Suddenly a strange thought crept over his mind.
And he died.

A laconic reply

After conquering many major Greek states, Philip II decided to subdue Lacedaemon. ‘You are advised,’ he wrote to Spartans, ‘to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people and raze your city’.
The replay was short: ‘If…’

Beggar

A beggar came to my house. He knocked on my door. I thought: ‘If he is poor that is God´s will. He must be a sinner.’ I drove him away with anger. God saw it.
One day I knocked as a beggar on heaven´s door. There was nothing but silence.

A telephone conversation

A: Hallo?
B: Darling, it´s me. Don´t say anything. Just listen. I was wrong. I´m sorry. I made a mistake. I love you and I don´t want to lose you. I can´t live without you. Will you forgive me? Please, tell me your answer.
A: Sorry, wrong number…

What has happened to him?

Dear Gerthruda,
I am worried about John. He sleeps all day, hardly speaks and is interested only in a bottle! Furthermore, he is now bald, wrinkled, has no teeth… Poor Johny! What should I do?
Kate

PS
Mummy says after his first birthday he will change. What do you think?

Too late…

He liked collecting stamps.
Once he spotted the one missing from his collection. He entered the shop. He saw its price and hesitated. He went back home without it. He made up his mind. He would buy it. He returned to the shop.
In vain. It was no longer there.